ode to lovely: 09.12.13

Sometimes I wonder why I even have a blog anymore. This space has changed throughout the years. It used used to be a place to share my crafty adventures and then it became a place to share my adventures in Taiwan.

But at the moment life is so simple and quiet and uneventful that I don't know what to share. I still do all the things I used to do. I still scrapbook. I still take pictures. I still travel whenever possible (most recently Miami, Los Angeles, and San Diego). But why don't I ever share anymore? I ask myself this question regularly.

I keep saying I'm going to make an effort to post again, but then I don't. And trust me when I say that I'm been meaning to do a blog design revamp for the last TWO years. #fail. This "wishful thinking" type of mindset is spilling over onto so many things in my life. I say one thing and do another. I say I'm going to workout, but then I don't. I say I'm going to job hunt, but instead I go to Miami for the weekend. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I think its because I'm not feeling overly passionate about anything at the moment. Everything feels mediocre. Not great. Not bad. Just stagnant. It's almost like I've learned to not get upset at the bad things and to not get overly excited if something good happens. It's just a neutral feeling. Almost like being on one of those anti-depressant drugs that help you "deal" with your emotions. You stop feeling extreme feelings and start just accepting, acknowledging, and moving past any major highs or lows. One foot in front of the other. Day by day. Week by week.

As I write this I find myself in a coffee shop. Writing this post instead of writing unsolicited InMails to strangers in my particular field of interest. I have to admit that I really hate the job hunt song and dance but dammit - I gotta put my tap shoes on and dance! My ass needs a full time job. And fast.