Today is the 6 month anniversary of my break-up. It's crazy to think how much has happened since then. The months have gone by pretty quickly, although at times, painfully slow. I have learned so much about how I want to live my life from now on. I've grown, I've matured, and I've gained new perspective. It has also toughed me up and made me a much stronger person. I've realized my strengths, admitted my weaknesses, and finally spoke my truth. But there is not a single day that I don't think about him. Lately, I've been thinking about him more than normal and I want to pick up a phone and call him. But I know it probably wouldn't accomplish anything to speak to him after so much time has passed. I have amazing self-restraint so even though I have thoughts of calling, I know I never truly will.
I guess the hardest part about everything is realizing that my reason for being in Taiwan is gone. I came here for him, for us, for our future together and ALL of that is gone. Now all I'm left is an MBA program (that I really don't like) and an amazingly strong desire to perfect my Chinese speaking skills. But, to be honest, I am so over this Taiwan experience. I will never regret the decision to move here, even though it has been a tough 23 months, but I am ready to move on. I am ready to feel over him, over my situation, over the spite, over the resentment, and over the pain. Obviously, I now feel SO much better than I did 6 months ago, but there are still a lot of bad thoughts and emotions that I need to shed.
maybe talking to him will finally close that door for you...?
best of luck
xo
Posted by: C. Rayevich | April 30, 2010 at 11:25 PM
it's unbelievable how much you have changed & grown when you look back, don't you think? i think it would probably be pointless to talk to him. you need to move on, separately.
Posted by: amy lapi | May 01, 2010 at 12:35 AM
i love u!
Posted by: claudi | May 03, 2010 at 04:44 PM
Know how you feel girl.. and its been 2 years for me. Hugs.
Posted by: Ali McLaughlin | May 06, 2010 at 05:02 AM
I think you are amazingly strong for returning to Taiwan after the break up. Good for you! Sounds like it is the right time for you to move on and start the next adventure. Can't wait to read about it :)
Posted by: cat | May 10, 2010 at 02:30 PM
I have been away from your blog for a while and am just reading that you broke up. I am so sorry to hear that. I was with my boyfriend for five years and he decided to break up with me at the same time I was losing my job. HE were sort of still talking and seeing each other a bit after that when I found out he was seeing other people too and just not telling me about it. I should have walked away then, but I couldn't let go. I have been secretly still seeeing him for the past year behind the backs of my family because they hate him. Now he is wanting, after six years, for us to move forward tand move in together and is threatening me that if I don't tell my family he will. I don't know what to do. My heart tells me we can work things out, but my head tells me he is scum and why the heck would you want him. Reading your post and how you are six months "clean" from your ex inspires me. I feel like I am addicted to the drama. I almost want him to tell them because then the secret would be out and I could free of it. This is the only place I have ever told my secret. Even my friends don't know.
Posted by: Jennifer Findlay | May 13, 2010 at 01:25 AM