I suck at moving on. I linger, and hold tight, and I find reasons to not let go.
This is especially true with friendships. I become really emotionally attached to people. And to memories with these people. And if you were once a special person in my life, there is a 99% chance that I still love you very much. Even if you hurt me.
But I'm working on learning to let go and learning to cut my losses. This is my year to learn to let go.
I was texting with someone from my past yesterday. Someone who hurt me so deeply. And over and over again. But when I love you, I really fucking love you. And I am pretty good at forgiving people, especially people who tend to not deserve it. So even though this person has stepped on me several times, I always came crawling back. I always believed there was more good than bad, and I hoped for the best.
That was, until yesterday.
As we were chatting on WhatsApp, and in the middle of the chat, and out of the clear blue sky, I wrote: I have moved on from this and I can't pretend that we're fine when we're not. True friendship does not exist between us anymore. Its best if we don't contact one another anymore.
I'm starting to realize that moving on is actually a good thing. It sheds the bad and makes room for the good. It allows other people, and other memories, to fill the holes in your heart that others have caused. It allows for fresh starts, new faces, and endless possibilities.