ode to lovely

Last night:

• we lost our camera
• we lost our keys
• we lost our minds

snippets from the last friday of may 2011

The house is spotless and life is good. I took a break today to take a few snapshots of our house. We have a pink bathroom, a blue and green kitchen, and an orange bedroom...oh the joys of living in Taiwan where people don't put much emphasis on their homes. None of our furniture matches. Our matress is placed on a wood crate. And the walls are so thin that one solid kick could probably knock this whole place down. But nonetheless, I'm really happy in this home. It is big, spacious, and has more then enough room for those random moments when I break out in goofy dances. It is full of imperfections, but I love this crazy place called home.

Tonight, we are getting all dressed up and going to the Rotary Club Charity Ball. I couldn't afford a new dress, so I'll be wearing this one and I am praying that it's dressy enough. I did, however, buy new eyeliner and plan to rock out my red lipstick and a high ponytail. Getting all dolled up is one of my favorite things in the whole wide world. Let the prep work begin! Happy Friday friends!

the dreaded email i saw coming from miles away

How is it possibly Wednesday again? Man, do the weeks fly by!!!

I got an email from my mother yesterday that pretty much said (in a very nice and polite way): I need you to pick a date, and if by that date you haven't found work, I need you to pack up and come home.

I had a feeling that I was going to get this kind of email in the upcoming weeks. But it looks like my parents are just as fed up as I am with the tiresome job hunt. And of course, job hunting at home is way cheaper because my housing, food, and transportation costs would be close to zero. So, for those reasons, my mother makes an excellent point.

So, now I have to set a date. I'm thinking mid or end of July. But then again, a few weeks ago I had decided on mid-June. Everything is always changing. But one thing that I am 70% certain of is that I don't want to go home. I'm not quite ready to face the <American> music. Not yet at least. 

only in asia

Seafood Platter Ruffles Potato Chips....the hit new flavor at Costco. And they're not half bad, although I do like the Chicken flavored ones a bit better. These are the kinds of things I'm going to miss if I end up leaving Taiwan. 

may 20th

A little bit of paper + words art to start this magical friday. Fridays are truly good for the soul. And so is remembering life as it is right now at this very moment. 

Today, I am meeting a Taiwanese friend for lunch. I have a follow up doctor's appointment at 5pm. And a BBQ at a friend's new apartment tonight. And a million emails to write in between. Happy Friday!

maroon5

Last night, Manny and I went to see Maroon 5 at the Nangang Exhibition Hall. It was their first show ever in Taiwan and I thought it was really good. I knew every single song they played and I loved how Adam spoke Chinese to the crowd. I think the Taiwanese really appreciated that. 

Plus, I learned something about concert cultural differences during the show. When the band "pretended" they were done playing, and retreated backstage (which usually means they will come back for an encore), there was complete silence from the Taiwanese. Usually in the US, this means the crowd makes a lot of noise, claps, cheers, and begs for an encore. Nope, not the Taiwanese. They stood there silently as Manuel and I started screaming for an encore. Eventually, the band came back to play 2 more songs, but I wonder if they were backstage doubting their decision to return to the stage. All in all, it was a really great show and it was worth every penny of my $1500NTD ($50). Maroon 5...you rock!

happy happy monkey

Right Now:

• I haven't showered in 3 days. Very disgusting, right? But we don't have hot water. I am sitting at home, patiently awaiting the guy who is supposed to come fix this damn problem. So far, he's a no-show. I might have to go to the school gym to grab a shower if he doesn't show up by mid afternoon. I feel GROSS. ugh.
• I went to to the eye doctor this morning to get a follow-up on my Retina Surgery and they had to yet again dilate my eyes. God, I hate that feeling. And then I did something stupid. I decided to scoot myself home in blurry vision.  The whole time, I kept thinking: "Dammit Natalie why do you have to be so stubborn? You are not super woman." ...I should have taken a cab home. 
• I had to skip yoga, yet again, due to my blurry vision. I'm annoyed because I had been looking forward to it for a week. But alas, I will have to wait one more day to get my zen on!
• I am super inspired after a heartfelt conversation with one of my favorite people of all time: Lauren. We kept brainstorming ideas and I feel like we are a few v-chats away from something brilliant. 
• I made an appointment for Lasik Surgery for June 10. I would have liked to do it sooner but I don't want my eyes to be blood-shot for my graduation photos (which will take place June 5). I'm nervous about the surgery, but THRILLED at the idea of never wearing glasses again. 
• I am in the mood for pampering. So after my eyes go back to being normal I will treat myself to a shampoo and blow dry. It's so cheap and convenient here (about $5-10) and I need to take advantage of these perks while they are still available to me. 

That's all. I am in a great mood, in great spirits, and happy to be blessed with the freedom I have right now. Thank you mom and dad. Thank you Manuel. And thank you to all those jobs that said no. Today, I am thankful for the rejection because otherwise I would be sitting in a cubicle and feeling restricted. 

breathe in, breathe out

Wow, what a difference a weekend makes! It was such a rainy weekend, but I had so much fun anyway. I had awesome talks with great friends and super fun random group dinners with my boys. Can you believe four of the five of us in the picture can speak Spanish? How random (yet awesome) to find these kinds of friends in Taiwan. I dont even have that many Spanish speaking friends back home. 

On Saturday, Manuel and I were randomly stopped and interviewed for the local Taiwanese news. I was asked about my experiences learning Chinese in Taiwan and asked to comment on American universities with Chinese language programs. My interview was Chinese (which was both exciting and nervewrecking) and Manuel spoke in English. Fast forward the video to second 0:55 if you just want to watch me in action. Because of my eye surgery, I am back to wearing glasses full time, which really put a damper on my 5 seconds of fame. Hopefully next time they stop me for an interview I will be all glammed up and fashionable and not geeky and tired. Here's hoping. 

We're Famous! from Natalie Garcia on Vimeo.

hey, what's new with you?

What a hectic, crazy, stressful, tearful, painful, and chaotic few days. 

Here's what has happened:

• I went in for a Lasik Consultation the other day and walked out with a Laser Retina Correction Surgery that supposedly was a "minor surgery" but turned out to hurt more than I thought.
• I've had to had very stressful and tearful talks with my boy about our future. It's going to kill me to have to leave him, but it's what has to be done. Our relationship has an unknown expiration date. 
• I turned down that job in Shanghai. It wasn't the right fit for me and I knew it from the beginning. I feel sad that I had to say no, but I have no regret about doing so. When it's right, I'll know it.
• I've been hit with a wave of laziness and defeat. I don't feel like job searching anymore. I don't know how to motivate myself. I don't feel the fire under my ass and I have no clue how to feel it again. I thought a 1 week break would help, but it just made me even lazier. 
• Lately, I feel exhausted and tired about my life out here. So much so that I went and bought packing boxes yesterday and started packing up my life. I even made a list of things I want to sell, things I want to buy before I go, and started purging some non-essential items around my house. As of yesterday, home was destination. 
• I've realized too many choices are never a good thing. I have a plethora of choices and nothing tying me down to any particular location. One minute, Shanghai is where I want to be. The next it's Taipei. And then, when I sit and talk to my dad about life, retirement, savings, cost-of-living, salaries, etc....back in the US is where I want to be. I can't decide and I wish there was a clear cut answer. Nothing and no one is affecting my choice and the weight of this decision falls strictly on ME. It's too stressful to decide, especially knowing I will lose my best friend if I chose any option except Taiwan.

I wish I had really happy and positive things to report, but this week has just kicked me down and then stepped on me a few times too. But, it's Friday now, and a new week is just a few days away. Fresh start. And hopefully some motivation will creep back in soon. 

today's good and bad

The good:

• Signed up for a 1-week yoga membership for only $12
• My nails are long, sparkly, and a perfect shade of gold.
• I'm reading this book and really enjoying how informative and easy to read it is. Thanks Lauren for the recommendation. 
• A long heartfelt talk with my mom that really made me rethink my decision to leave Taiwan.
• I'm going to make delicious tacos for dinner tonight.

The bad:

• Can't find the air conditioner remote and I'm dying of heat at home.
• Heard negative remarks from previous employees about the owner of the company where I got offered the job.  Now I'm leaning towards NOT taking the job.
• I'm not motivated at all and I have no idea how to fix this.
• I'm losing sleep because I'm so stressed about what to do with my life.
• I'm caught between following my head or following my heart.

neglected

I have been in a state of a million emotions lately. I feel a bit overwhelmed with the decisions that I have to make in the upcoming days...mostly dealing with whether or not to take the job in Shanghai.

Because I'm consumed with "what should I do with my life" kind of thoughts, the other aspects my life have gone neglected. The last two weeks have flown by and yet, I feel like I have nothing to show for them. I have neglected most of my responsibilities and feel like I've just been floating through life. I haven't followed up on other jobs, written thank you notes, or shipped out packages to friends and family that have been on my To-Do list for weeks. I don't have the energy to blog. I finally shaved my legs yesterday after a 3 week hiatus. And I haven't worked out in WEEKS. And as you can see from the picture, my physical appearance has also been neglected. I've been wearing my hair in a bun and my dorky glasses (and with no make-up) almost every day. I hate looking in the mirror, but have no time or energy to fix this. So much has gone neglected because I'm simply too consumed with the decisions I have to make in the next few days.

So many people tell me I should follow my gut. But following my gut is not always the "smart" choice. But maybe this time I'll have to follow my heart, and not necessarily follow the "smart" path. 

kiss me, k-k-kiss me

Random Wednesday Thoughts:

listening: Katy Perry's ET
eating: waffles with strawberries
drinking: pomelo tea
wearing: black slacks, j-crew top, sandals
feeling: happy to have spent time with Lourdes today
weather: not hot, nor cold, cloudy and just right
wanting: to try out Tracy Anderson's cardio dance workout
needing: to finish doing laundry and to make dinner
thinking: that being rational about love is not rational at all
enjoying: time to myself and time for reading again
wondering: how I can get back on a daily workout routine

Side Note: I updated my Made in Taiwan scrapbook album with 7 pages if you're interested.

decisions decisions

We've had a house guest over here that has taken up all of my time and has left me exhausted after 7 days of touristy activities. And even though I've been back in Taipei for 9 days, I feel like I was never really here. My 9 days have revolved around other people and I have barely had  a single moment to get shit done in my personal life. Thank you emails have gone unwritten, the house is a complete mess, I haven't finished unpacking, and everything feels chaotic right now. In a nutshell, I'm frustrated, stresed, angry, confused, and feeling like way too much has piled up on my plate in a very small amount of time. 

And to add to my stress and confusion, I was offered a job in Shanghai a few days ago. It's a job that I'm not sure I want. It's a job that would have me moving back there in no time. It's a job that may or may not be a good fit for me professionally. And it's a job that is causing me to make decisions that I have been avoiding for quite some time. I'm lost, and tired, and confused.

On one hand, finding a job was the ultimate goal. On the other hand, I'm not sure it's this job will the right decision for me at this moment. But I fear that if I don't take it that this job hunt could go on for quite some time. And I'm not sure I can handle that kind of pressure, and stress, and rejection for too much longer.

Tough decisions are up ahead. I'm not a happy girl at the moment.